http://paperartstudio.tripod.com/artistsway/id3.html

This is something I want to begin working on…so since it is the morning…here we go…. I will not edit my morning pages. They will be jumbled, and have bad spelling and lots of grammatical errors. I give myself permission to not make it perfect.

I’m supposed to write anything that comes to mind. It may not even make sense. All i have to do it write. They recommend that you write three pages long hand, but I don’t really see myself doing that. I have terrible penmanship.

I have found that late at night while waiting for sleep to take me away, I have the grandest ideas. Story plots and ideas fill my head. Bits and pieces of fictitious lives float in my brain as it winds down. or up, depending on the level of mania.  

I always thought I would write more of a non-fiction book as my life has been filled with so many oddities.  But maybe I could write about something else. Something fictitious that  inspires me. I am lacking inspiration at the moment.

Most of my creativity went down the drain after losing my mom last year. It’s been a struggle to do even the things I found fun. I love to knit, but I see no beauty in it the way i used to.

I love the gulf of mexico. i love the beach. there is so much beauty here. i should let it inspire me.  I have a cup of pandaberry tea with honey. I love pandas. Extra honey because i still have a lingering cough.

Maybe there is a girl. Maybe she’s not a good person. She has faults. She’s made mistakes. Part of her regrets them and the other part feel entitled to happiness. She has an internal struggle between what is right and what is wrong. That’s all I have there.

I like to write haiku, but nothing profound. I wish I could draw. My desk is clean except for my mug of tea, my medication and a bottle of Zyphyrhills water. I don’t usually get up this early, but I did and now I am in that place of half awake and half asleep. And a bit hungry just for shits and giggles.

Shits and Giggles would be an awesome book title someday.

I know this isn’t three pages but i’m not really sure what i’m supposed to be writing. I only know that my dream is to be a writer. To live in a loft in NYC, and  have a mac that i take to coffee shops and pour my heart into my work. Being more fashionable would be nice, too.  I love this: http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2009/07/24/AR2009072401763.html

I have to learn how to add links to WordPress. Not quite figured this all out yet…

I was ready for a fresh start. Perhaps a more anonymous start. I just want to start over. somewhere where no one really knows me.

This past year has been a year of sadness, and change.

2010 is shaping up to look similar. SOmewhere amongst the sadness, I am looking toward a new me. A stronger me, a more independent me. And this is where I will begin my journey.

I’m an Aquarius, an insomnia, and much more. I’m not really PC. I like dirty jokes. I try to laugh a lot. I am a terrible speller and I have horrendous grammar. But that’s me.

I have some dreams…some aspirations. I’ll leave those for another post. This is just to wet my toes in the proverbial ocean of WordPress. I am hoping to find a new home here. A blank slate to document my life.

One long day at a time…..